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  • Writer's pictureSusannah Powers Stengel

Can You Hacks It?

A JOB AD FOR DEBORAH VANCE

REC


Spoilers For: Some of the joke butts in Hacks season one and two.


HBOMax

The second season of Hacks makes me want to go on a road trip, and pick a fight with my mother. It's so good.


Hey y'all!

(Trying to avoid more gendered terms, like "you guys" for example, but also, I'm the worst.)

EXCITING NEW OPPORTUNITY FOR WOMEN IN COMEDY!


Work with a legendary Las Vegas comic Deborah Vance! (Sharp Jean Smart plays Vance in Hacks, a stupendous HBO comedy about the tragedy of comedy.) Don't miss this rare and exciting opportunity to join the Hacks team in season two! Be a writing assistant to one of the most brilliant (and most acidic) minds in the stand-up game. Match wits and max out your panic attack potential at an internship for the ages! (A role currently occupied by snarky spark plug Ava Daniels, played by the wonderful Hannah Einbinder. But hey, don't worry, the more Vance staff, the merrier. This hire gives Deborah more flexibility if she maybe decides to murder Ava, or, bury Ava in litigation to the point of paralysis.



Pay Expected:

Live Shows Daily, Some Money, Barbed Insults and Wild Supposition about Your Appearance/General Demeanor


Benefits:

Polluted Intimacy, Free Sunglasses, Lodging and Food


Perks:

Unsolicited Advice, with six month options to Sell Her Dirty Secrets to Television Executives for Your Own Gain



Requirements/Qualifications:

DO: Be funny.

Deborah can forgive a lot, but if you're not telling jokes, you better watch out. A giggle defeats her darkness. Write that shit down and put on some makeup. But most importantly! Make. Her. Laugh.



DO: Have an honest aura.


Deborah, cheated on by her husband WITH HER OWN SISTER, now appreciates the blunt truth above all. Cut the shit, because, for her, "betrayal is the worst feeling in the world." Deborah Vance can hold a bitter grudge. So, when working together, just be honest, bitch. Don't apologize. Just own up.



DO: Be ready to take some jabs. Be nimble. Be quick. Dodge what flying rocks you can.

It's all in good fun. Until somebody gets slapped. Let's just say Deborah warned you. You won't forgive her the comedic carnage she causes, but you do have to be ready to live with it. Non-toxic work environments are so boring. Learn to thrive in the hostility, and while you're at it--get comfortable in a casino, kid.



DO: Take heed of quid pro quo.

It's not a matter of if, but WHEN you'll fuck up, and you need to be ready to fall into a chaotic chain of favors that may or may not culminate in your manager being enrolled in a year-long (well, longer than a year-long) anger management course. Let the favor stew begin to boil! Watch the splash back, and cover your tracks.



The Ideal Candidate:
  • Is prepared to mine their own trauma and yours to land a punchline.

  • Will pay for Deborah's meal (despite her millions) when she's mad at you.

  • Will get litigious.

  • Will be ready to both see and facilitate some fucked up family shit.

  • Is prepared to start running their mouth well before breakfast.



To apply, please contact Jimmy LuSaque's highly capable assistant, Kayla, and ask Kayla for her opinion of Jimmy's overall emotional stability today. If Jimmy seems happy to her, press Kayla for more details. Good luck, funny girl!


If you think you've got the cruelty and selfishness necessary to crush this very real job opportunity, comment below!



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