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  • Writer's pictureHannah Pearson

Captain's Log: My Idea was Pirated!

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Spoilers For: Nothing!





Writing Captain’s Log Day 57


EUREKA! I want to shout this word for everyone on the airplane to hear but alas, I stay quiet for fear of being imprisoned in the tiny bathroom until landing. What has me calling out in abrupt discovery and jubilation? While sitting in my cramped middle seat, I passed the journey with delectable ear candy aka podcasts. One of which told a fascinating tale of a real-life pirate and his most unbelievable adventure. His name? Stede Bonnet!


Upon hearing the story I was struck with a moment of genius. I should write a script about the unlucky pirate. Surely, one day it will make me millions!


Writing Captain’s Log Day 63


Wasting no time on my venture, I threw myself into research. Bonnet’s life was even more incredible than I could ever imagine. A rich man, with all the luxuries offered to a man in the 1700s, decides to abandon his life of leisure, his wife, and his children and run away to become a pirate?! Tis stranger than fiction, I tell ye.


Oh, this script will be my greatest plunder.


Writing Captain’s Log Day 75


ARRRRG! This script has hit the doldrums, with no wind in sight. The problem I am sad to report is that I see it both as a comedy and a drama! Bonnet’s pitiful attempt at piracy is comedic gold! Seriously, he was the worst pirate! But his unlikely friendship with Black Beard and a story of redemption could put an Oscar in my hands.


Whatever shall I do?


Writing Captain’s Log Day 80


I just watch Yorgos Lanthimos’s The Favourite and EUREKA! EUREKA! EUREKA! I shall have my cake and eat it too! My script be a comedy worthy of a shiny gold Oscar too.


Writing Captain’s Log Day 85


Sink Me! It’s all over. My latest copy of Variety broke the news today. Famed writer/director/seadog Taika Waititi shall produce a new comedy on HBO about the life of pirate Stede Bonnet. A foolish scalawag am I to think this bounty would be all mine. I shall never write again. Throw me overboard.


Writing Captain’s Log Day 213


The ship of the Stede Bonnet script sailed away and though I still write, I think oft of the story I longed to tell. Promos for Waititi’s Our Flag Means Death litter my newsfeed. I would have called mine The Gentleman Pirate. No use thinking of it now. Let Waititi enjoy his treasure. Mark my word, I will never watch a minute!


Writing Captain’s Log Day 241


Another friend has recommended that wretched show to me. I hang the jib to them!


Writing Captain’s Log Day 241

Aye, now my writing partner, my most favored bucko is saying I should watch the dribble. Oh, how my heart loves Rhys Darby but cleave me to the brisket before I am ever tempted to hit play.


Writing Captain’s Log Day 245


I’ve been marooned on an island of isolation, away from the water cooler talk of this Blige-sucking show. I cannot take FOMO, batten down the hatches! I am going in.


Writing Captain’s Log Day 245.2


Fuck me. It’s so fucking good.




GO WATCH OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH NOW!!

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