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  • Writer's pictureHannah Pearson

Rec-ipe for a Tear-Soaked Vodka Martini to Honor a Legend


Spoilers For: Arrested Development inspired jokes

On March 24th the world found out that 2021 is just a 2020 Gene Parmesan disguise-- that is to say it was a illusion to think that it would be any better than the banana stand fire that was last year. Because last Tuesday the world lost Jessica Walter.

Born in NYC in 1941, Walter was a dynamic and insanely talented actor who had done it all in her 60-year career. She dominated the stage, movies, and television! But for many of us, she will always be known as the martini holding, poorly winking, matriarch to the Bluth family. The character of Lucille Bluth, in large part, made that show the cult favorite that is today. Chances are if you are quoting the show to add humor in your daily life, then it's a Lucille quote. (I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it) Keep your June Cleaver, I'll take Lucille as my dream TV mom any day!

So in her honor, Tellyfish is bringing you a Rec-ipe for a Tear-Soaked Vodka Martini to sip with your breakfast toast! (Tip: You'll need to get up pretty early to be drunk by 1 o'clock)


A few cubes of ICY mommy stares when you say you don't care for GOB

2 2/2 oz. of Vodka, strong enough to endure a Jeffrey Tambor Tantrum on set

1/2 oz. dry vermouth, dry enough to deliver a line like "I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizonia" (truth)

1 olive, I mean it’s one olive Michael, what could it cost, $10?

and finally a spritz of your tears... if you can spare the moisture


POUR the vodka and vermouth in a shaker over the ice

SHAKE but don't be so dramatic and flamboyant or I'll want to set myself on fire

STRAIN into a chilled Martini glass

GARNISH with the olive


Now Pour One Out for Gangy and Go See a Star War!


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