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  • Writer's pictureSusannah Powers Stengel

Shadows' Play: Bloody Good Bites for Season Three

What We Do in the Shadows Season 3 Recap and Predictions for Monstrous Fun to Come

RECAP/REC


SPOILERS FOR: All of season three--Guillermo's ascension and petty politics.



Welcome, children of the night, to the best, damned comedy on television right now.

Fight me about it. I'll point by point eviscerate any challenger with relish.



From audacious physical comedy to blistering wordplay to the chaotic clash of balance, power, sex, and death--this 20 minute FX morsel has it all. If you haven't seen What We Do in the Shadows and enjoy clever characters in a supernatural but familiar world, do yourself a favor and screw this article. Fire up your Hulu queue. Let's get into the gristle of why season three brings me so much joy and let's consider the possible blood spatter to come.


Gizmo Triumphant


Javier Guillén (Guillermo) is having one hell of an arc. I feared the worst. His discovery of his own Van ancestry implored him to turn accidental vampire hunter last season, and seemed to underscore his incompatible contradictions. I feared he'd have to leave the gang. I was very wrong. He's a familiar-turned-vampire-guardian this season. The only duplicitous, delusional Machiavellian assistant I want for the job. He's whispering in ears as Nandor and Nadja jockey for position, and he's bringing the fierce performative double agent game only the most compelling character can master--one whose motives are fluid, changing, growing. I would do anything for Gizmo, and lap up every dark aside Guillén wants to serve me. Yum.



Nandor's Getting Sexier


Kayvan Novak as Nandor the Relentless is crushing it this season and bringing the sensual energy in spades. From his decades-long dalliance with unimpressed middle-aged mom human Gail (who becomes a werewolf-vampire hybrid but still doesn't want to marry Nandor) to his indeed relentless pursuit of his gym's decidedly lesbian receptionist Meg--Nandor is an all powerful being whiffing it again and again on the field of love. The ennui of being less than in a body intended to rule fills me with joy to behold. Novak's insanely skilled impersonation of every single character in the cast in episode two merits a rewatch. I couldn't help but wonder: who might comfort him through these amorous trials? Perhaps our favorite cuddly familiar?



Laszlo and Colin: Bestial Banal Besties



Matt Berry as Laszlo Cravensworth is a bawdy ball of cock-based commentary. Mark Proksch as Colin Robinson is a fun killer with a hard-on for malaise. Season three has tossed these two together with an unexpected result--a horny, avoidant, desperately affectionate bromance I never knew I needed. Take their banter as they enter neighbor Sean's house for a night with the boys.


Sup on a comedy feast. When Colin tries to wheedle juice out of Laszlo with his worst Jar Jar Binks impersonation, Laszlo's embraces his dreck as "very funny indeed." Mwah!

They fix cars together. They solve problems and make them. They go to court. Colin understands Laszlo's constant need for pornography. Laszlo provides his beige buddy with an opportunity to play an hours-long murder mystery board game over beer with the boys, sipping upon their energies throughout. A match made in sucking heaven. I'll take more please!



Nadja Gets to Do Whatever The F*#k She Wants


Natasia Demetriou as Nadja of Antipaxos is a raw nerve of seductive force to be reckoned with, and I'd love to reckon with her all night. She's my favorite member of the cast because she's got the biggest set of metaphorical balls. Take her ripping out the heart of disobedient young vampire as his rebellious friends bear witness. Take her convincing the Vampiric Council to go easy on Derek just because she wants her sweetie pie Laszlo to get a little taste of victory. Take her charming the pants off the Rat Pack pretenders in Vegas and securing $300 of their hard-won crooning cash. Nadja wants what is best for Nadja (and her doll agrees) and there is something so enviable about the electric id of her impulse always winning the day. #Goals.



The Lore is Constantly Expanding


The What We Do in the Shadows team is not content to rest on their laurels. They give us more cogent lore in two and a half seasons than I remember in twelve seasons of the Buffyverse and seven seasons of True Blood. (Fight me. I'd love to battle you. See you on Twitter betch @tellyfishtv.) From the appearance of Kristen Schaal as The Guide, the floating, creepy-crawly envoy for the gang's newfound leadership as heads of the Supreme Vampiric Council, to the Chamber of Curiosities (replete with a plot-fertilizing, juicy array of mystical artifacts), to the extension of the rules of being a vampire in general. You can't sleep without your home soil. You can't transform without sleep. You can't hypnotize someone too much or they become immune to hypnosis. Energy vampires are wandering around everywhere. WE ARE DROWNING IN LORE PEOPLE, and the results are a machine of endless invention, ascending political tension, and a season three that hasn't close to peaked.


Cue a Laszlo guffaw: "I say!"


Guillermo's beautiful ass ended up on this throne. Will Gizmo's ass remain in the power seat?


PREDICTION/DESIRE CORNER (Starlog 9.30.2021)


1. Guillermo and Nandor will kiss. At the very least, Nandor and Gizmo will begin to understand the possibility that they are more than master and familiar and get a little more familiar. Wink.

2. Nadja will refurbish more lost memories and past lives within her victims and friends.

3. Nandor and Nadja will have a huge fight.

4. Laszlo's sexual appetite will influence Colin Robinson for the better.



5. Nadja's doll will hold power in a key way.

6. Nadja killing that disobedient vampire Wes will come back to bite her.

7. The Guide is doing more than just guiding this new Council.

8. Sean will uncover more secrets about the vampires living next door.

9. We will get more virgin LARP time.

10. Guillermo will not become a vampire.



I'd love to fight you about any of my brain scramblies here. We can agree too, I guess. Comment below to hypnotize me.

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