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  • Writer's pictureHannah Pearson and Susannah Powers Stengel

New TV Year's Resolutions @TellyfishTV

RANT


Spoilers For: Nothing. Who know what 2021 will bring!?


There is something about the ritual of waiting till the New Year to set goals that brings a sense of reverence and dedication to the task. At least for us at Tellyfish. Television in 2020 was a HUGE part of our shared lives.


Even though 2021 feels like the getaway car at the end of a horror movie, it’s actually just driving further and further into the same shitstorm.


So we thought we might as well start curating our 2021 TV queue now.

Now, I know we’re trying to turn over some new leaves this January, but for now, let’s get back into our slug lady jimjams and make some incremental long term plans together.

(Cue Our 2021 TV New Year’s Resolutions. And Trumpets. And Fanfare.)


COLOR AUTHORESS CODE:

Hannah

Susannah


I Resolve to Do More . . . When I Watch TV


Exercise. I gave up my gym membership after the third month of quarantine and have complained that I don’t have enough time to get in my work out. So it’s time I kill two birds with one remote and make the habit of throwing in some crunches and squats while my head does its own mental leaps watching The Flight Attendant.


What I Wish My TV Action Resolution Was: To Be A Knitting TV Bitch. What I Can Actually Muster: To Stretch/Do Yoga While Watching My Particularly Mindless TV.



I shouldn’t need Jillian Michaels to inspire a boob tube down dog. But I do.


I Resolve to Rewatch . . .


The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. My life needs more zen and happy trees. I mean, whose doesn’t right now?!

Bojack Horseman. When this show knocks you down, it goes for the jugular. I quit when it hurt too much. But any show that can get its claws in me that deep deserves more attention. Into the crackling, acerbic ennui I go. Weeee.


I Resolve to Give . . . Another Try


The Sopranos. Pretending to have watched The Sopranos is a secret I’ve kept much like Hilaria Baldwin pretending to be Spanish. I’m embarrassed I haven’t seen it and it’s time I stop pretending. Si?


Dead to Me. Why the hell-in-a-casserole haven’t I done this acclaimed dark comedy yet? It’s because when I first tried it, I wanted to cry. But I do like poisonous dinner party dynamics and wordplay and buried motives and strong polluted women and okay, it’s good to cry, I get it. I’ll watch it.


I Resolve to Quit Watching . . .


Not necessarily a show but rather how I watch a show. We have a fancy projector and six speaker surround sound and I still end up watching most shows on my tiny phone in bed. It’s not good for my eyes or sleeping habits.


Anything I Freaking Want Anytime I Want.

I don’t have to stay tuned to the boring shit, the offensive shit, the shit with impossible standards of female normative behavior, or any shit with racist, homophobic, transphobic, able-ist attitudes that poison the narrative. This includes selectively watching and fast forwarding and pausing to talk over and critique all sorts of old content tooo.

You do you, Rory boo. No one else can remote control us.


I Resolve to Pay More Attention to . . .


The Villain. As I write more and more these days, I realize how crucial it is to the payoff of a show to have a complex and dynamic antagonist. If I’m not rooting for the baddie at some point, then what’s the point? Yeah I see you, Joe Goldberg.

When Big Character Choices Feel Earned. After watching an empty Daenerys dragon-blitz her birthright and The Big Place burn at the altar of its own ad nauseam self-indulgence, I want characters to make mad choices that slap up plot, but ALSO, vitally, feel plausible. Eyeball emoji. Eggplant emoji.


I Resolve to Finally Give a Chance to


Korean soap operas. People love them and I’ve been acting like I’m too good for cheesy, melodramas, with unrealistic depictions of romance. I watched Too Hot to Handle… in 2 nights! Who am I better than? Really? I need to see what all the fuss is about.


International police procedurals. From Mexico to Britain to Australia, sharp, fierce, and willful writers teach master classes in how to coil plot, evidence, and tension in a tasty Nerds Rope of toxic inevitability. Okay, I don’t have to be afraid of the dark things under my bed any more. I can nurture my shadows without living in the dark.


We wish you happiness in watching this 2021, o baby bloom. Thanks for floating and stinging through 2020’s stories. Let’s glow forward.


-The Tellyfish Team


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