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  • Writer's pictureHannah Pearson

Precious or Nasty Little Bezos?

Listening to the Gollum and Sméagol on my Shoulders


RANT

Spoilers For: Nothing





These are dark times, beloved existing IPs that we once clung all our hopes and dreams to are being ripped apart by the evils of gold hoarding studio execs. Beautiful tales and characters are slaughtered in front of our eyes and we’ve been helpless to stop them. Rory has become insufferable, Gen Z took over Bayside, and Miranda left sweet baby angel Steve.


But one IP has remained timeless, waxed in an impenetrable coating of universal appeal. Never at a moment in our lives can its morals not be applied. It is the light in dark places when all other lights go out. Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended cut, of course) is the good in this world, worth fighting for, even when all hopes seem lost. Not a year has gone by in my memory where I have not spent a weekend revisiting this epic saga. It’s become a holiday. The world outside stops and I let the jaunty rhythm of shire’s flutes fill me with pure joy and delight in watching the good guys save the day. Something desperately needed when in reality the good guys rarely win.


I love The Lord of the Rings. I will never grow tired of it, even as I write this all I want to do is fire up my HBO and check out of life and into the Prancing Pony.


However, when Amazon announced it would be creating a television series back on Middle Earth, I nearly skipped my second breakfast due to anxiety. Has the evilness of reboot/revivals come for my precious at last? But no, it’s The Lord of the Rings, how can more be a bad thing?


The energy created over fretting whether or not I should watch the new series caused tiny Gollum and Sméagol to appear on my shoulder.




We loves the Lord of the Rings. We do! We will loves the Rings of Power!




No! Bezos will hurts the precious!! He can’t be trusted.



Not listening! Not listening! Amazon is our friend, it gave us Fleabaggins.



No, we hates Amazon. Reviews are divided!



We watch it on mute, just to see the the shire again!



We must starve, it does not care if we suffer. Don’t let the Bezos hurt the precious. We ought to wring his filthy little neck.


I don’t know yet which path I shall choose. Not all those who waver are lost… except in this situation when I totally am.



Are You Watching Rings of Power? Who do You Side With?








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